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Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil. 3:13 ESV

I was at a very dark place in my life. Doctors had placed me on anti-depressants, yet I remained a recluse with suicidal thoughts. Once I had carried the precious anointing of the Holy Spirit. Now I only carried misery and felt that He could not be found. It was certainly me that withdrew and now I felt alone in the gloom. How did I get here? It is a long story that is not that relevant, but how it changed is.

There was a very small light in the darkness, a small ray of hope. The Lord started speaking to me very gently, like someone trying to ease up to an injured animal. Slowly, He led me out of the darkness. I found that He still had a plan for my life, but that I had to follow Him. It took action. I had to make serious changes that others disliked. You cannot steer a car that is sitting still; it just gets older. Albert Einstein said, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Every journey starts with a first step. If you allow it to, your past can determine your future for you. You can make a choice though, and change today. Life is funny; keep laying a little stone here and another there and soon you have built a wall around yourself. We all do it over time. It tends to happen naturally and the older that we get, the more past that we have built up around us. Eventually, it traps us inside of it and becomes our identity. If you meet someone and they immediately tell you about their past, you are looking at their wall.

Do not let your past or others control your future. You are older and wiser today. This is your life, a new day, a fresh beginning. You are forgiven and God still has plans for you. Press on for the prize and do not let the enemy hold you back this time. There is still hope, for what you see will not always be. God will always call you into the brightest version of your life and every other path is inferior. Hold tight to the rope that He gives you, and let go of the past.