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"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.’” 2 Cor. 12:9

The other day the Lord sent me a dream that beautifully illustrated the power of His grace and how He saw the folly of perfectionism. In the dream, I was having to write out math problems like below:

  225

+325

———

  550

I was looking desperately for a ruler so I could draw the line above the sum, straight and level. I didn’t want to use the ruler, and didn’t even like doing the math in the first place, but felt like I had to, so was searching, hopelessly and exhausted. Even in the dream, I knew that it was about prayer and even my faith life. In life, we know quite a few people who are afraid to pray, because they feel they are not “good enough”. Sometimes they mean the way they conduct their lives, but often they mean that their prayers don’t sound “skilled” enough compared to others they see. The dream was reminding me that our life is not a formula that we can build based on what we see in others, just because we think they are somehow “better”. God has given each of us our special spark, and to strive to follow anyone else’s, no matter how perfect we try to make it, will only end up in frustration. 

The amazing part of the dream though, was that after a while, the Holy Spirit walked into the room. Quietly, sweetly, simply, He whispered: “You don’t have to do that.” I would kind of shake my head, sigh heavily, and keep looking for the ruler. Every few minutes, He would just call out again, “You don’t have to do that.” Finally, the truth of His words finally got into my heart, and I broke down sobbing, so relieved that I could finally stop.

One of my “takeaways” from this lesson is that God is not mad at us when we fail. You might say that this outlook of seeking perfection out of ourselves is a type of sin, and you would be right. The Holy Spirit, however, did not come forth yelling at me in judgement about it, but just gently showed the way to a better path. God loves us so much, more than we can even contain, so don’t worry that you’re not good enough, that you might make mistakes. You don’t have to do that.

My second takeaway is that, wow, does God know us better than we know ourselves! This lesson that "we don’t have to be perfect and compare ourselves to others" is one that I thought I had already internalized, was pretty sure I had got it down. It’s probably one of the things I like to talk about the most, in fact. Yet…if I’m honest, lately I had been feeling a bit (or maybe more than a bit) of a wall when seeking to pray that I couldn’t identify. I’d also been meaning to do some writing for a while, but couldn’t seem to get inspired enough to do more than list some ideas. During both of those times, I would just feel tired. Rather than more coffee, what I really needed was a fresh outlook from God, which He graciously provided!

Remember, whenever you feel stressed and afraid, don’t try to go it on your own. You don’t have to do that. There is One who will always be there for you, if you only let Him.