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“For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.” 1 Peter 3:17

      There are times in my life I have struggled to understand the path God has placed me on and today is not any different. There have been times I wanted to just throw my hands up and shout to God, “I’m done”, there are times I just as well have said it because it was what was in my heart. I become frustrated and hurt for things not going the way I want them too. I have walked away thinking I know so much more than God. I have cried out to him wanting to know why? I begged him wanting to understand his reasoning of things but his silence is deafening to my ears.

      So I stay angry and frustrated, I even have questioned if God is real. Does he really exist? I have walked alone thinking I can do this entire thing called Life on my own. It cannot get much worse, can it? He has refused to answer my questions to understand, why shouldn’t I just do it on my own?

      Then somehow, out of nowhere in my pity party, God places someone in my pathway to knock some sense into me. When I was whining because things were not going the way I wanted them to, I failed to look and see the blessings in my life. I had allowed the enemy to devour my thoughts and think I deserved so much more. I had become so consumed with what I thought should be that I could not see what could be.

      The scripture in 1 Peter says it all! It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than doing evil. I have been miserable in my life from a lack of understanding while I was feeling sorry for myself, but I have learned when I am down in my life, God is working things out in my favor. It may not be in my timing but in his timing and his timing is perfect. Often in my down periods in my life, God has me in training for what he has in store for me. I am often reminded my suffering is nothing of what Jesus suffered. It actually embarrasses me to even think of the whining, anger and frustrations I have felt and even verbally expressed.

      Life is what I make it, I can choose to go on my own and let the enemy continue to devour my spirit, or I can choose to suffer (or what I think is suffering) with Jesus on my side and know he is there right beside me. I realize I have taken my eyes off of him and put them on myself. I realize Jesus is still there even though I have taken a horrible temper-tantrum; he is still there ready to hug me. Jesus never left me, I left him. He is still there when I fall to my knees and I place my head in his lap and as he wipes the tears out of my eyes, Jesus is still there and once I look up to him I see his hand in my life and I know everything will be just fine.